Showing posts with label fun stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fun stuff. Show all posts

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Dark Comedies in Crisis Time

These are the times of dark comedy. They make you laugh out loud, and deeply sad at the same time. Even the best New Year's Movie wouldn't have scripted it. (This year's Chinese New Year's Movie, If You Are The One wasn't very good.)

From CNN, the story of Chinese mistress contest taking tragic turn:

A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

...

When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.

He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.

The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.

It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.


If you think only laymen are able to provide laughs, you would be wrong.

Zhang Weiying, a prominent Chinese Economist who got his degree from Oxford and a proponent of market reforms, suggests solving China's consumption stimulus problem by giving each citizen a share of the massive foreign reserve. All government assets really belongs to the people anyway, he was quoted saying in open talks, so if we give it back to the people, maybe they can spend it as they see fit.

Hold on, Prof. Zhang, do you really understand what Foreign Reserve is? Official foreign reserve, although sounds like government asset, doesn't really belongs to the government. Every time someone, say an exporting company, brings in foreign currency, like Dollar, and he exchange it with the central bank to domestic currency creates foreign reserve. China has massive foreign reserve only because the central bank forces companies to sell most of foreign exchange holdings to the central bank, and China exports far more than imports. So, although those reserves are "official", they don't really belong to the government. For every reserve deposit that is created on the central bank's balance sheet, there is debt to the private sector in RMB created. If you were to everyone a share of the reserve, and he/she was about to spend it, which requires converting into domestic currency, you would end up creating money twice. Stimulating? Yes. But what a wonderfully messy world would it be.

Not to mention, the U.S. government and the whole financial world would be in panic. In normal times, it actually makes sense to leave the foreign currency and thus risk management decision in the private hands. But, not in crisis times. Imagine now again, an average person is allotted a share of $10,000. He would worry about the value of those dollar immediately. Now, given all the jittery about Dollar, and prospects of the U.S. bailout programs, he would most likely want to exchange at least a large share of that into RMB just to be safe. Since, nobody is stupid, they all know others have the same worry, the best way to preserve value is to run ahead of everyone else in selling dollar. Bam! you created equivalent of bank runs in exchange rate market. On the contrary, the current arrangement, however unsound it was before, has advantage of stability. The Chinese Central Bank has to taken into account the loss of value on their remaining large holdings when it plans to sell dollar.

Mr Zhang's suggestion seems to deserve a hearty laugh. But considering he is one of government's hey advisers, it is actually far less amusing.

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Tuesday, September 2, 2008

West Wing Hopefuls

I feel like watching episodes of West Wing. Actually I don't watch a lot of that TV show, but it ought to be more melodramatic than the real thing, or does it?

A young, energetic and eloquent black president-hopeful (move over Morgan Freeman) delivers a forceful speech. A man in well-tailored suit, with pristine hair that rivals the God Father, rises every two minutes, or five syllable, to applaud. His beautiful wife smiles on, trying to catch the applauding action in unison.

If election were to be decided on looks, Democrats had a thundering punch. Even Michele Obama, ever so slightly pouty-mouthed however hard she tries, has a genuine sparkle in her eyes with wifely admiration and motherly love that makes her shine. The republicans after all have only Cindy McCain to hold the court.

Enter Shara Palin.

Pageant score: R2:D1. She not only evens up casting eye-candy-ness on the Republican side, but also ups dramatic scale of the usually blandish party. She is immediately suspected of claiming her daughters baby as her own. Before you know it, her 17-year-old daughter's knocked-up is front page news. She is then questioned from the way she delivered her baby to her high school basketball team uniform. There is even rumor of tape of her daughter getting drunk available. (Do we really need to know?)

If you think paparazzi in Hollywood are sneaky, think again. I doubt West Wing writers have enough imagination to outdo the script either. I'm less convinced of vast policy difference, I just want a good show. But to prevent the show from degenerating to Beverly Hill 90210, I have an idea for future West Wing hopefuls: call Geena Davis.

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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Post Olympics Entertainment

The fun of Olympics dwindles, along with mid-night TV watching. Propaganda from China is being replaced by propaganda from Denver. My brother, having attended games, now hold definitive bragging rights against me. So, I'm left to find my own post Olympic entertainment.

The press doesn't disappoint in providing entertaining material. Thomas Boswell provides a laugh or two by ruing over his Olympic experience and trying to find a negative thesis. Beijing must have done something right if Mr Boswell has only a small laundry list to complain on: Security personnel not allowing him to jump over tapes for the short cut; buses ferrying media persons for being too punctuate; people saying hello even without best command of English. He then uses his imaginative skills to parley all these experienced into his grand thesis, that's worthy of a chuckle. Oh, and everybody smiled, it's just too perfect. Mr Boswell would make a good psy-fi director - mindless robotic drones beaming smiles everywhere, while a plot against humanity brews.

Time UK doesn't miss the train in providing good laugh. I'm not sure I can qualify to pride myself as wide-eyed, but The success of the games is attributed to the oppressing making the oppressed "march in unison, drum, smile, dance, mime, jump through hoops if necessary". Aside from the mystery of volunteer hostess " stripped naked for the judges" that is promoted (does it pass the smell test?), the article comments:

Nothing can be decided by an oppressed people... What happens next in China is no more determined by its citizens than the destiny of Iraq was in the hands of Iraqis.
For a minute, I think Royal Marine would be in Tianjin harbor in 24 hours to liberate the Chinese people. Then I wake up to the reality of 21st century, not 1800s.

Actually, the two gentlemen have made some good points, but the clueless-ness nevertheless betrays them and reduced the articles to good entertainment. Judging from comments online, few take them seriously. I only wish my brother and friends in Beijing wouldn't get a bigger chuckle than me. That would be unfair.

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Saturday, August 2, 2008

Red Cliff (2): Oriental Wisdoms

The hype and over-exposed discussions on the internet eventually killed my viewing pleasure. Even the laughing-out-laud absurdity seemed not so funny. But I was still holding out hope for the battle scenes.

Stories of Three Kingdoms are very popular in China because it contains many political wisdom, cunning military maneuver, and personal heroics. The battle of Red Cliff is the most famous because it was a classical case of victory by asymmetrically weaker force and laid down the foundation of triangular balance of power.

However, those who look to the film for some oriental wisdom will likely be disappointed. Wait, there are some. Liu Bei is depicted as a model leader of "serving the people" slogan, as he directs his troops to protect the people at military cost. The underling philosophy is that a king without people is no king. Man power was an essential factor for a weak but ambitious state. In another scene, Zhou Yu orders his troops to run across a muddy pond, so that soldiers who stole the buffolo for food - presumably get some mud on their shoes - won't be singled out. It's an old trick to win hearts and loyalties. But these details don't save the overall blendness.

Not to be deterred, I waited patiently for the battle scene of The Eight Trigram formation. According to John Woo himself, his was the first successful attempt to reenact such battle scene in details. I was getting excited in anticipation. How could I not? My childhood dream was about to be filled - ever since I read about the mysterious Eight Trigram Formation in The Legend of Gods(封神演义)as a child, I've always wanted to see the real rendition, of its traps, decoys, morphs.

And here they came. Troops of Caocao, the powerful evil mandarin, queued into the formation, whose shape looked exactly like the pattern of tortoise shell, lined by iron shields. Why exactly did they willingly and orderly enter the formation without lifting a finger, not to mention weapons, and thus allow themselves being separated by stupid shields on both sides, I had no idea. But if you think that was how they were defeated, you are grossly wrong. Flag was waved and the formation was moving. Along came the generals of the opposition, they would battle the soldiers of Caocao - one versus hundreds at a time- in the narrow allay delineated by the shields on both sides, and won. You would think that the point of having a formation at all was to confuse and divide the enemy to form advantage in local units. But no, for John Woo, the point of having a fancy formation was to have a chance to fight one on hundreds.

It was common in Hollywood style movies to have dumb moments to create the drama. Scoundrels would have every opportunity to kill the heroes at their mercy but always rather waited and not to, only to be killed by heroes because of it. Battle scenes in John Woo's Eight Trigram formation took it to a new height, almost to a fault of insulting viewers intelligence. But, on a second thought, he did manage to plant the scene to show John McClane style heroics and Kong Fu moves. That's exactly what Woo wanted.

If you can call that oriental wisdom, or is that occidental?

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Thursday, July 17, 2008

人人都是艺术家

一个很有趣的涂鸦网站Artpad
你可以在上面的画板用一些很简单的工具创作出具有你个人风格的涂鸦

贴几个偶画的:-)


你站在桥上看风景
看风景的人在楼上看你
明月装饰了你的窗子
你装饰了别人的梦


记得当时年纪小
你爱谈天我爱笑
有一回,我们并肩坐在桃树下
风在林梢鸟儿叫
不知我们怎么睡着了
梦里花落知多少


黑夜给了我黑色的眼睛
我却用它来寻找光明
嘿嘿

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Monday, July 7, 2008

Here comes communists

Poster on the picture left says "No service for communist bandits", and the board across the top the of the shop on the right says, "President Chiang, Communist Bandits have landed". Chiang Kai Shek was the leader of Nationalists who lost the civil war and fled to Taiwan sixty years ago.

We all know about the historical direct flights between Mainland China and Taiwan by now, and how local community leaders and businesses are doing what they can to accommodate, and to attract more mainland tourists.

But these pictures are much more interesting. Besides the amusement value - calling mainland tourist "communist bandits", a term used by then-in-power nationalist government - it's also much more encouraging than the official propaganda.

The official happy-all-round picture that's painted surely doesn't represent the whole truth. Besides, most of about-face work is done to attract businesses, and has little value in evaluating where the cross straight sentiment is going. Those posters, however, shows some Taiwanese still regard the mainland as the renegade force, just as mainland see Taiwan as a renegade island. Although the second poster is suspicious of marketing motive.

If there is still quarrel, there is still family. It's when disagreement becomes polite smily faces that two sides go their seperate ways.

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Sunday, July 6, 2008

Summer Delicious

This "Naked Among Watermelons" picture recently on exhibition in MOMA is created by Israeli artist Sigalit Landau in 2005.

Of course, Sigalit Laudau wouldn't know watermelon had Viagra effect, according to recent studies.

Freaky coincidence.

I'm wondering when "Have you taken your watermelon" becomes a new catchphrase.

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Have a case against hypocracy? Google will help

In a review of some of the keywords related to China in 2008, you'll likely to find words like: internet, privacy, moral, Runaway Fan, and and his self-proclaimed crusade against hypocrisy, among others. Now let's switch gear. Here is an interesting case in the U.S. where juries will try to decide whether sexually explicit material is obscene.

In the trial of a pornographic Web site operator, the defense plans to show that residents of Pensacola are more likely to use Google to search for terms like “orgy” than for “apple pie” or “watermelon.”


residents...are more likely to use Google to search for terms like “orgy” than for “apple pie” or “watermelon.”

In other words, the defense is trying to use google search to show people are really, alas, hypocrites. To achieve this, they need to intrude into people's privacy, i.e., the google search subpoena. Pure genius.

Granted, defense has still many bars to hurdle. For example, how to pick the controlling "common terms"? How to compare the popularity of sexually explicit searches versus the more benign searches? Do you aggregate them? “Orgy” or "group sex" may be the top search hit, at the same time a very small percentage of all other guilt-free hits. Then you have to worry about the distribution of hits among residents to know how representative of a community those hits are.

Chinese internet users are certainly no strangers to hypocrisy and internet, they long understand the difference in behavior when anonymously online - the so-called internet mob mentality - and offline. But notes to Chinese Fans, The U.S. is a far more conservative, if you wish, country than China, socially or legally. Such a case while may provide occasional boon to police coffer would most likely be ignored in China. And we would lose chance to see such ingenious defense. Maybe the crusaders should pay more attention to google to get the real scoop.

Watch out. Google will shred your hypocrisy.

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Monday, June 16, 2008

穿着雨靴的小猪 The mud-phobia piglet gets her boot




看了这篇新闻,心中充满对细心的小猪主人的好感。
美丽的名字。墨绿色的小雨靴。有性格的猪宝宝。

英国约克郡一头名叫“灰姑娘”的小猪可能是世界上第一头患有洁癖症的小猪,自出生后,它一直不肯和兄弟姐妹一起在泥巴中玩耍。直到近日主人为它定做了4只小靴子,它才终于肯和泥巴亲近。

“灰姑娘”自出生后一直拒绝在泥巴中玩耍,后经兽医诊断,这头小猪患有“不洁恐怖”的疾病——一种害怕泥土的恐惧症。这也是迄今为止人类发现的第一头害怕泥巴的猪。

“灰姑娘”的主人黛比表示:“这是我见到的最奇异的事情。这批小猪出生后不久,都纷纷跑向泥巴中玩耍,只有‘灰姑娘’静静地呆在猪圈边,望着远处的泥巴浑身发抖。起初我们以为它只是不愿意离开猪圈或者母亲,后来才发现,只要将它放到没有泥巴的地方,它就显得非常高兴。”

近日,主人用4个绿色的橡胶笔筒给“灰姑娘”量身定做了4只精美合脚的小靴子。有了靴子的保护,现在“灰姑娘”也愿意在泥巴中走一走了。


story

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Monday, June 9, 2008

Eats, Drawings, and Denominations

I had General Tao's Chicken(左宗棠鸡) for lunch. And I got my hands on, finally, some Sticky Rice Bun(粽子)- which is said to be related with Qu Yuan - yesterday.

It reminds me how many Chinese dishes are said to be related - innovated by or made famous - with famous names. We have Dongpo Pork and West Lake Sweet and Sour Fish(西湖醋鱼), of which recipes are said to be invented by the Song poet Su Dongpo according to The Gay Genius. Of more recent genre, you can always point to Chairman Mao's Red-Braised Pork(毛式红烧肉). Infamous persons made their names to the food table too; Chinese cruller,also known as the more original name You Char Kway in Singapore, is originated from Infamy. Even Spinach and Toufu Soup has this legendary story of QianLong Emperor.

Is that because Chinese people like to practice romanticism on dishes, or they are naturally good in marketing? Whatever the reason, you better make your name onto the food table if you want to ensure yourself a place in the Chinese history!

Now I'm sitting here trying hard to figure out a similarly storied "western" dish from my daily manu - New York Steak, Alfredo Meatball, Fried Mahi-Mahi, etc. - I can't think of any, yet. They are blend, but straight forward. If you have any idea, please let me know.

[update: Chicken Without Sexual Life is now off the menu. Beijing suggests English translation of Chinese dishes for Olympics]

On the left is an interesting video produced by DanWei about graffiti art in China. I have to say, while I appreciate the diversity, I'm not impressed. Most of those works I see in the video, the style, the lettering, aren''t that different from the African American graffiti art. Why would I want to see emulations from hip-hopping Chinese kids when they are as if straight from New York City, just not as "street" and authentic? Now that if they have distinct Chinese flavor to put up as street mural, it would earn more respect, at least from me.

In other news, some Chinese "scholars", mostly media people really, are calling for putting ancient heroes on the money. Times, in its usual clueless-ness, is reporting it as if the change is imminent, and totally misses the political flavor in the proposal. Truthfully speaking, I have no definite stance on the issue. And I doubt anybody has real idea how some of those ancient figures really look like aside from imaginative depictions. My issue with those put forth the proposal is that they call themselves "scholars". Since when are media personalities qualified as scholars? I know the term intellectual is now cheap, but is it that cheap? Well, here are some fascinating photos of bank notes in Chinese history.

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Monday, June 2, 2008

也是一种表达方式

据说这个是把一个英文单词用汉字的方式表达。偶已经琢磨了半天,可是谁能告诉偶这汉字念什么?

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Friday, May 30, 2008

Top 10 things you want to do to uncontacted Indians

AP reports that uncontacted Amazon Indian tribe, one of the last uncontacted, is discovered in Brazil. Picture left shows them try to fire at plane with, gasp, arrows and bows. (More detailed story and larger pictures in daily mail)

Not to let David Letterman monopolize the top 10 list, let's count your top 10 things want to do the tribesman. Here's some I come up with:

  • Show them a picture of a beard man, tell them this man, Jesus, saves them, or they would go to hell. If they don't know what hell is, in all likelihood, show them a picture of Manhattan or some other places.
  • Ask them to send an athlete to Olympics to be represented. Oh, wait, they are represented by Brazil.
  • Lecture them about democracy and human rights. They don't know that, do they?
  • Give them some popcorns in exchange for them to sign some papers - about their land rights. Finger prints will suffice.
  • Drop some GPS device on them to track their activities. Wait, I'm afraid someone will actually do this. Sad.
  • Parachute yourself into their habitat, so you can claim yourself as their God.
  • Open a Macdonald next to them. Free international trade and consumerism must prevail.

Ok, I realize that's not ten yet, but feel free to add your own.

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Monday, May 26, 2008

Ingenious Chinglish

just when I think China nowadays are more imitative than creative, something always comes along to prove me wrong. It turns out, the young Chinese are not only reassembling their economy and culture, they've extended their innovative ambition to the English language.

A new English word is coined by young Chinese. Drunbility, which translates into 装逼 in Chinese (dirty and offensive, be aware) urban slang, means roughly insincere, pretentious and hypocritical rolled into one. The first part of the word rhymes phonetically with the Chinese slang, and -lity is used to complete the word as a descriptive noun.

The ironically impressive part is exactly the coinage in English. Since many in China see the overdose of the use of English in everyday conversations by new elite, mixing English words in between, as one form of pretentiousness, using English to coin the word achieves to highlight just that.

Thou the divine language conqueror, I bow to thy genius-ness.
(In casual conversations, I may not be able to string together a complete sentence in Chinese without mixing some English, it's because the English words come up quicker for me, Please spare me.)

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Saturday, May 24, 2008

毛主席看了会不高兴

呵呵 偶忍不住英俊地笑了起来。

看了几篇关于萧红的评论,就想起前一阵在南方周末看到的葛浩文专访。找来细读,却发现有趣的一段。 你想,一个新闻话题里能同时出现两个或两个以上的酷词趣词,实在是让人手痒,遂贴过来一笑——

葛浩文,美国汉学家,目前英文世界地位最高的中国文学翻译家。曾被美国作家约翰-厄普代克誉为中国文学首席且惟一接生婆。他的翻译清单包括萧红、陈若曦、白先勇、李昂、张洁、杨绛、冯骥才、古华、贾平凹、李锐、刘恒、苏童、老鬼、王朔、莫言、虹影、阿来、朱天文、朱天心等。葛浩文还曾主编中国大陆当代短篇小说译文集,书名有趣,叫《毛主席看了会不高兴》


上面摘自南方周末的报道文字中加粗的部分,都属于让人忍不住要坏笑大笑的新语词。
好吧 偶预备做两件事,一是用“首席接生婆”做几道造句练习,一是不管喜欢不喜欢,要对隔壁摔锅晓之以理动之以情:你如果老是睡的晚起太早的话,毛主席看了会不高兴的。

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Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Hooters and the cultural deficit

A moment of silence for the perished.

Now something more light-hearted.

If you go to the Beijing Olympics this summer, you can not only taste a slice of China but also find comfort in...hooters, which opened last year. Where else can you find a lame place where waitresses dancing to 80s pop songs like YMCA? Not even in America.

The fact that Beijing has the Hooters and the Hooters hasn't met much objection is not surprising, given the extremely pro-business regulation there and not much else. To quote some Chinese hooters girl, "In China, there aren't many feminists". Besides, sexual content in restaurant and entertainment business isn't exactly new in China's homegrown industry. In fact, I recently find that China has legitimized soft-porn industry too, only under the disguise of fine art nude photography.

A somewhat more interesting question is why the homegrown businesses have to feel the need of keeping sexual undertone somewhat underground but the foreign incorporated firm can trumpet sexuality (We don't find any 奶子饭店,do we?). Well, that requires smart marketing, self regulation and corporate standard. Like many things in China, there's regulation swap in work - yielding profits to foreign firms in exchange for better regulation and business practice.

I'm a bit surprised that Hooters is able to marketing itself as "American Spirit". But maybe not. The so called cultural deficit has been huge for China. To get a grip on this, you only needs to walk into a Chinese book store and an American Barns&Nobles. The amount of translated American publications along with its original version is huge. The same can't be said about Chinese books. (Hong Huang mentioned about this also in her recent msnbc interview.)

So the real interesting question is: Are they really able to understand the U.S. through watching American TV soaps and going to Hooters? On the second thought, maybe not, seeing how many people think Sex and City represents typical America. Shanghaiist has a very interesting, though a bit old, interview of a Chinese college hooters girl who was encouraged to worked there by her parents, who though hooters represent American value of "passionate and friendly", like..."mayflowers". It confirms also the genius-ness of South Park. Just like in Raisin, customers who want to flirt are encouraged to "come back".

At least, unlike Hooters in America, Hooters Beijing doesn't have DVDs of hooter girls for sale. Then again, they are unlikely to find so many double-Ds in China too. In other words, not much "hooters"*.

*hooters is American slang for breasts.

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Thursday, May 8, 2008

How beauty is born and man deals with it




Watch this hilarious Dove Evolution commercial and the parody video response. The mission stated of The Campaign for Real Beauty is to be "a global effort that is intended to serve as a starting point for societal change and act as a catalyst for widening the definition and discussion of beauty." China isn't found on their country list. I'm wondering whether there is similar movement in China.

This shouldn't sit well with the cosmetic industry. The real question is, what look does the woman in the video really prefer in her life? Is the human natural perception worth the fight?

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Friday, April 25, 2008

Dinner in a bag, Life in a box

Dinner in a bag, Life in a box. Hoorey, the guilty pleasure.

Maybe, at least one can be off the table now. Marlee Matlin was eliminated from Dancing With The Stars. It was an inspiration to watch her dance with virtually no hearing abilities. Maybe I should find time to check out her Children of a Lesser God.

In that other show, it baffles me why Jason the I'm-so-hot-coo-coo still stays in the competition. Oh, and if Brook makes any more of her sad face, I think I'm about to faint.

Oh well, at least NBA playoffs are still going strong.

BTW, that was BBQ wings in the bag.

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Quote of the Day

Commenting on traffic laws/fees are designed more to generate revenue than to keep people safe, upon the news that six cities caught shortening yellow light times for profit:

I usually drive naked and I get a lot of gawkers who want to admire my genitals, so I think there should be a "no gawking at the admirable genitalia of the thadeus" law, you know, just to keep people safe from the dangers of gawking at awesome genitals. - thadeus, an internet poster

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